I have been your loyal servant for more years than I care to remember. We had a good relationship at the beginning, but it soured along the way for some reason. I’ve come to the realisation that it’s not you, it’s me.
As you know I have taken some Long Service Leave this year and have been absent for 6 months. During that time I have had a lot of time to think about my life and our relationship, and I now know that it was an unhealthy relationship.
It is for this reason that I tender my resignation, effective immediately.
I have taken up a position with Sobriety and have signed a lifetime contract. Sobriety has offered me so much more than you ever did. I only wish I had’ve found her years ago.
Please don’t come looking for me Alcohol, as you won’t be able to find me. And if you do find me, I won’t answer the door.
Yours in Sobriety
(Written 12 months ago, halfway through my HSM. It has now been more than 18 months since I had a drink.)